Arrr, says the White House matey, Zelenskyy be blind as a bat for not signing the gold agreement!
2025-02-17
Arrr, a scallywag from the White House be sayin' that Captain Zelenskyy be sportin' blinders, not plundering a golden chance fer rare earth treasures! Avast, matey, don’t be lettin' the booty slip through yer fingers!
Arrr mateys, lend me yer ears! A senior sea dog from the White House be flappin’ his gums about Ukrainian Captain Zelenskyy, sayin’ he be missin’ a grand chance to let the Americans rummage through Ukraine’s treasure trove of rare earth minerals. The National Security Council parrot, Brian Hughes, squawked that by lettin’ the Yanks dive into Ukraine’s riches, they could help recoup some doubloons from the billions sent to Kyiv, while grog-guzzlin’ Zelenskyy’s economy!But, alas! Captain Zelenskyy be thinkin’ twice, refusin’ to sign the parchment, claimin’ it be a one-sided deal favorin’ the land of the free! He be wantin’ some sturdy guarantees for Ukraine’s safety, lest the Russian scallywags come a-knockin’ again. “Nay, I shan’t let me ministers sign your colonial contract!” he declared at a grand meetin’ in Munich, where discussions flowed like rum.
With talk of partnerships and co-investments, the U.S. be anglin’ for a solid alliance, yet the Ukrainians be ponderin’ their own counteroffers. The seas of diplomacy be murky, me hearties, and Ukraine be lookin’ to navigate these treacherous waters with some added security before settin' sail with the Yanks. Yarrr!