The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Durbin be settin' sail against Patel after parleyin' with the FBI's chosen matey! Avast, what a ruckus!

2025-01-21

Arrr, Sen. Dick Durbin, the captain of the Democrat ship, be settin' sail against Kash Patel's bid for the FBI helm! “This lad's got less experience than a landlubber, and his head be filled with nonsense!” he squawked after a parley. “He be favored by the MAGA crew, but he ain't fit to fend off the scallywags!”

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Sen. Dick Durbin, a fine fellow from the land of Illinois! This scallywag be the mighty leader o' the Senate Judiciary Committee, and he be settin' his sights on a certain landlubber named Kash Patel, who be lookin' to steer the ship known as the FBI under the banner of President Trump.

Now, Durbin be raisin' his voice like a tempestuous wind upon the seas, claimin' that young Kash be lackin' in experience, temperament, and judgment fit for commandin' such a prestigious crew. After a chinwag that lasted a mere 30 minutes, ol' Durbin declared that Patel's grievances be more suited for a rabble-rouser in the MAGA world than for upholdin' the law and keepin' the ship safe from the scourge of violent crime and drugs.

In a time when the seas be fraught with danger, Durbin be raisin' the Jolly Roger against this nomination, suggestin' that Patel be better off swabbin' the decks than captaining the good ship FBI! So hoist the sails and prepare for a raucous ride as the Senate navigates these treacherous waters of political mischief!

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